i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
pop tarts are not kleenex
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
