can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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