he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
