Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
birth control should be required to get into college
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
