isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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