Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
