Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
