you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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