Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
