yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
