Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i believe in u and ur pee
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
