i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
