I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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