The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
