do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize