I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't deserve a penis
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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