all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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