Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
