You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
