I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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