do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize