i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
