I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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