Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
