I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
