oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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