I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
