A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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