Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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