that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
