i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize