That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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