i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
