How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
