google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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