i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
