I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
