Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Randomize