Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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