soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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