Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
