any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
