I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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