No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
