i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
