He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
