The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
