3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
