So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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