it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
