the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
