Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
