i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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