I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
