There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
