He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
