Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
