Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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