So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
