i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
