I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
